Ghumada-pedia

Here you will be able to find many informations of notable figures in Ghumada. If you have a request for an information to be posted then you can file a complaint in the help section, gofyourself@ghumada.com.

Gordon Gordon

Gordon Gordon standing in front of his lab after "the accident"

Gordon Gordon is the well known lead scientist of Ghumada. If you don't know who he is, you are probably stupid. An article about the history of Gordon Gordon's life can be found here. To summarize, Gordon Gordon was born approximately 3,000 years ago. When he was 33 years of age he met with a strange scientist with questionable qualifications and received a strong dose of an experimental medication. It is believed that this medication granted Gordon Gordon immortality. 

Pope Guadalupe IV

Pope Guadalupe

Pope Guadalupe, direct descendant of Mohammed Bin Laden, is the current head of the Ghuddist church. Though he no longer has any official power in the Ghumada government, the citizens still look to him as a sort of spiritual idol. Guadalupe was somehow conceived through a strange experiment conducted by Gordon Gordon, after his predecessor Pope Guadlupe VIII died due to unforeseen circumstances. Pope Guadlupe IV recently had his name changed to Pope Frosty Antelope Supreme Dong, but the file never made it through to the name changing section of the Ghumada Government before the dictator took power,

Carver Kerver (Dictator Kerver)

Carver Kerver first appeared in Ghumada during the elections. According to witness reports, he drove out of the wilderness in a beat up pick up truck one afternoon. His campaign as president of Ghumada went fairly well, but he got tired of waiting and decided to team up with Gordon Gordon to take over power as a dictator. He appears to be some kind of strange mutation between a human and a deer, which is not surprising due to the dangerous radiation levels that exist in Ghumada.

President Jaquan

Jaquan's birthday card

President Jaquan was the president of Ghumada for about 700 years (according to Jaquan's cat, which is actually more like a goat). Every year, he takes an 11 month long vacation to the island paradise known as the Land of Lard. It is exactly as it sounds. President Jaquan has not been seen since he left for his last trip, so he still has no idea that the government has been taken over and the country is practically in ruins. Jaquan has been the topic of many disturbing scandals, including the incident when he was mistakingly thought to be assassinated. He was actually just taking a nap in a body bag.

Jo Lopez 

Jo Lopez was born and raised a coal miner. He knows nothing other than being a coal miner. All his life, he is surrounded by coal. His favorite snack is a coal sandwich with a side of coal and a nice cool glass of coal. On an unspecified date, a terrible accident occurred in the coal mines, leaving Jo Lopez trapped. He is still down there as far as we can tell.

Klarke Jingles

Klarke Jingles is Ghumada's lead statistical expert. He is famous for his work involving the survey on the life span of Ghumadan citizens. 

Kurt Bustins

Kurt Bustins is the official food expert in Ghumada. He used to do taste tests for President Jaquan, but then he got fired and took a life to the streets. He now spends his days sitting in strange places while making bird noises. But the noises sound nothing like birds, so everyone thinks he's on drugs. He probably is.