Ghumada Scientists Seek Sustainable Energy

As the capital city of Ghumada expands, a need for a sustainable source of clean energy has arisen. Currently, the city is powered by a smoldering mound of rubbish which may include several displaced body parts within its contents. Needless to say, the smell is horrible. That is why 3 citizens, including Biv Shonk, have decided to take action. The Ghumada News action investigation team decided to take a closer look into this problem, as citizens are becoming mildly upset.

"We don't need this mound of burning displaced body parts! It is bad for health!" 

Based on this interview, it is clear that action needs to be taken. To further this investigation, we approached acting committee council member Lee Horchtz directly:

"I can neither confirm nor deny the accused accusations of burning mound of flesh. Citizens are provided a fair amount of 3 electricity every year and that is more than fair. How said electricity is acquired is the matter of Supreme Minister Guadalupe."

So, we made the journey up to Supreme Minister Guadalupe's Holy Temple in order to have a word with him. The temple lies at the top of 30 million unevenly placed steps. As we ascended the architectural monstrosity, it became clear that the Supreme Minister had done everything in his power to make it impossible for visitors to reach him. This was evident based on the intimidating miscellaneous skulls strewn about, and the inconvenient flame traps placed sporadically. 

It may be worthwhile to note that nobody has seen or heard more than 3 aggressive syllables from Ghumada's self proclaimed "Supreme Minsiter" for over 5 years. It started when the capital's infrastructure began to rapidly deteriorate following the destructive wake of 5-7 hurricanes. After the first storm hit, the only weather lab in Ghumada, which consisted of a small plastic rotating windmill outside Gordon Gordon's labratory, was tragically destroyed.

Nonetheless, Ghumada News Investigation team pursued the case with a flaming vigor. After a 40 week journey, the remaining members of the research team arrived at long last to the temple. Upon reaching the gates of the temple, 

Sprawling green lawns embellished with exquisite colorful and exotic flower beds accented golden statues of various indistinguishable objects beneath blossoming trees. The Minister Guadalupe was, quote, "completely naked underneath a bloodstained robe, chasing a terrified and screaming old man who appeared to be lit on fire all around the place. It was truly not something I wanted to see."

When confronted, Supreme Minster Guadalupe had this to say: "I am Supreme Holy Master, I am best one at anything. Ask anyone, and they will say that Guadalupe is best. No one says not."

It was at this time that Gordhongo President Sevan DeQuan Junior III appeared from behind one of the immense golden pillars of Supreme Minister Guadalupe's Temple.