By the time he was around 84 years of age, Jungalo Johson was ready to make a discovery so huge that nobody would be able to forget about him for the remainder of the universe. So, he assembled his trusty crew consisting of him, his brother, Lungalo Johnson, who had somehow handcuffed himself to a large wooden anchor (iron wasn't invented yet in Ghumada) several years before, and 3 partially brain dead monkeys that functioned only to sweep the small on-board kitchen whenever the water leaked in (which happened quite frequently; their boat was kind of shitty.)
After about 16 minutes of packing and preparation, Jungalo and Lungalo Johnson were ready to leave. Of course, they weren't aware that there wouldn't be anywhere to stock up on food in the middle of the ocean so they didn't pack any. This would prove to be a deadly mistake in the near future for the monkeys on board.
The brothers eagerly waved goodbye to the cheering crowds stationed at the Ghumada Port (destroyed in the horrible explosion that followed several hours later). Journalist Billy Biaston captured the whole experience on a single slice of thin paper, which appeared to be a napkin which he had wiped his mouth on repeatedly before (or possibly after) writing on it. Unfortunately, the document appears to have been incinerated and the only legible writing left behind is the word "the". It was not very helpful in the writing of this article.
only known photograph of the SS Antipurgatory leaving the Ghumada Harbor |
On their way out, the brothers, not hugely experienced with the steering of their huge ship, accidently rammed into an innocent fisherman who decided to park his boat in the narrow passage from the port to the sea. The poor man didn't even have time to scream before he was completely overcome by the SS Antipurgatory. This fisherman is said to have tormented the brothers for the duration of their voyage. Of course this is only a rumour told by several conspirasts who were born 30 years after the voyage left with no evidence whatsoever.
this fisherman's tormented soul may have inhabited the ship for the duration of its journey and probably longer |
The following is a short experpt from the journal that Jungalo Johnson kept fo the first 3 weeks of his journey. He would have kept writing but the only thing available to write on was a couple of dirty rags that the monkeys used to clean the ovens every Thursday,.
"Day 1
i have spotted a large sea dot. It does not appear to have moved since the last time I gazed upon it at 2. I will continue to watch the strange anomaly until it moves."
This clearly proves that Jungalo had to endure some very vertical conditions! By verbal account of his journey passed down by some natives on a strange isalnd off the coast of Ghumada, it appears as if Jungalo Johnson did not bring a map with him, which could be a contributing factor in why the vessel got lost at sea for over 30 years, considering he didn't even graduate from 2nd grade and has next to no knowledge on geography.
About 15 years after the last known contact with the crew of the SS Purgatory (the day they left the harbor, the short range radios stopped working after about 5 minutes) when everyone thought the entire crew was long dead, a local docile pirate called simply "Hortttt" (short for Hortttttttttt) spotted the ship off the coast of his lonely village( he's the only one that lives there since no one wants to be friends with a docile pirate for some reason). He immediately sounded the boat horn, utilizing the 35 long blasts that he was trained to use for this specific situation. Shortly after, the entire Ghumada government came rushing to the scene in their large vans and such (eyewitness reports also indicate that there could have been an off roading train). However, the authorities dismissed the case, as there was no way the ship could have been real (ghost ship sightings were on an exponential increase in the last 8 years). So, they left and Hortttt sadly watched the boat drift away until it crashed into some rocks and that was the last he saw of it.
Hortttt the docile pirate spots a boat |
There were no other reports of the missing crew until 2 weeks ago, when the boat amazingly drifted into the dock of Old Man Yuti's ski resort! Somehow the boat and its crew had not only survived for 34 years, but they managed to maneuver it over 3,000 miles of uneven terrain in the mountains of mid-eastern Ghumada! Old Man Yuti is reportedly upset about the strange green streak marks the ship has left behind it on the ground through his ski mountains.
Yuti is not pleased. He is some kind of strange purple native |
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