A New Age of Ghumada

After completely destroying downtown Ghumada in a fiery incident, Dictator Kerver has gone missing. Several concerned citizens, including Conspiracy Jim and Heavy Harold, have compiled several theories, including that the Dictator was assassinated, or that he was actually an alien, and they even went so far as to suggest the idea that he was assassinated by aliens. However, there is compelling evidence in the forms of eye-witness reports and video footage suggesting that he took off in a makeshift boat constructed with dead leaves held together by what appears to be unopened bottles of superglue taped together.

Conspiracy Jim

This guy

It is safe to say that we will never see Carver Kerver again, mostly due to the fact that his boat fell apart just two minutes after entering the water and he was consumed by some kind of shark looking creature, it might have been a bird.

Ghumada is left as a smoldering wasteland filled with dangerous creatures and radiation (although it wasn't much better before, possibly worse actually). The citizens have no option but to completely rebuild it from the ground up. Unless they choose to move to the conveniently neighboring country of Gordhongo just 3 miles to the southwest. Most of them probably won't figure that out though.

Meanwhile, Gordon Gordon appears to have taken refuge in a small emergency shelter. The shelter, investigated by our undercover informant (essentially a rat with a small low quality camera glued to its back) is constructed of a small hole-filled sheet suspended over the former site of Gordon Gordon's lab. The land is now essentially a large crater formed when an experiment involving a makeshift atomic bomb and several rusty nails went completely according to plan.

Gordon Gordon eats something he found on the ground in his bunker.

It appears that he has given up all hope of restoring Ghumada to it's former glory. It actually wasn't that great before but it is somehow even worse now. He will probably continue to pursue his interest in growing strange glowing mushrooms and other fascinating plants. When we tried to talk to Gordon Gordon he ran away as soon as he saw us approaching, paranoiacally muttering to himself something about "rogue clone giants". We are unsure what this means but we did discover a small bag of what appeared to be dried mushrooms in the spot he was sitting. We hypothesize that he was using these mushrooms as flavoring in some new recipes.

As we sit in Gordon Gordon's bunker waiting for him to return, (we can see him look around the corner every once in a while then quickly go back into hiding) a strange rattling noise can be heard over the hill. We listen to this noise for about 2 hours without any particular interest. However, as the noise grows louder we can see a strange looking man pushing a small metal cart through the rubble and debris of the ruins of Ghumada. There were no roads to begin with (just dirt paths carved out by some plastic rakes) so this man appears to be having a great struggle pushing his cart through the whole mess. As he gets closer we can see the steam rising off of his head.

Finally the man arrives to our position. He introduces himself as Albert the food man. His cart is made of some rusted pieces of scrap metal help together with some pieces of string. On the side scrawled in red paint are the letters "Albert's Food Cart". The words have been crossed out several times and re-painted to account for spelling errors.

As Albert bends over his knees trying to catch his breath still, we notice that the steam rising from his sweat drenched body is turning into real smoke. The smoke begins to thicken and change colors. Albert is a fantastic display of red, blue, green, and red smoke spiraling into the sky.
at this point Albert is completely horrified and in no way impressed. He is running around, tripping over loose ends of metal beams and other miscellaneous hazards. At one point his hand somehow becomes detached and he has to stop to pick it up off of the ground.

While Albert is being a lunatic freak show, we help ourselves to his food cart. Upon opening the metal tray in the top we discover that the only food item in his inventory is a crusty loaf of bread.

Outraged, Albert falls over dead. Suddenly Gordon Gordon pops out of his hiding place inside an old fallen over chimney and celebrates wildly at the apparent success of his latest experiment. He pulls out a small bomb and throws it into the air. He puts on a small pair of safety glasses and proudly watches as it detonates into millions of tiny fragments. It appears as if everything has gone according to Gordon Gordon's master scheme all along.