Citizens Protest Over Government, Demand Election for New President

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The citizens are at it again. They have finally discovered how to form half a thought, and they finally realized how terrible their government is. The government is so bad that it's actually illegal. What kind of government makes itself illegal? And if that wasn't enough proof just look at the official government headquarters:

It's for none of these reasons that the citizens of Ghumada have decided to unite towards a common goal of reforming their government. Actually, they just want to make Crunchy Ken their new president, as he promised them free salad buffets every Thursday. No one in Ghumada has ever eaten salad, but they thought it sounded kind of cool so they went with it.

The protests have been going on for a total of 4-5 hours, with 30 minute breaks every 10 minutes. The protesting consists of every citizen trying to start a different chant, so there isn't really a main message to be taken away from all the chaos. Also, Special Tim decided to show up wearing his grapefruit costume.

President Jaquan, the current president of Ghumada, is reportedly still on his annual 11 month vacation in the Land of Lard so he hasn't heard the news yet, but his trusted assistant Political Paul agreed to sit down with us for like 5 minutes. Here is what he had to say:
"If this is about the time I got my head stuck in a watermelon for 6 weeks I don't have anything to say."

Pope Guadalupe, who has recently had his name changed to Frosty Antelope Supreme Junior, claims he has nothing to worry about because he has full immunity as leader of the second branch due to article 355B of the Ghumada Constitution. There are some doubts about this though, as the constitution was destroyed when Gladiator Jim accidentally used it as a mask in the War of 3:55 PM yesterday.

Gladiator Jim

The presidential erections (correction- elections) will reportedly last for approximately 6 months in order to ensure fair results. Anyone is eligible to run as long as they are alive. This may be an issue for Gary the Ghost as he is not alive.

Gary the Ghost

Gladiator Jim has claimed that he wants to run but he probably won't win because he destroyed the constitution. He claims that if elected, he will ensure all citizens have a fair right to collect arms. This will be his primary concern when drafting the new constitution.

Make sure you cast your vote for the primary elections. There will be several phases of election including the primary, secondary, first-ary, and finals. Different candidates will have to make it through one of the primary elections before moving on to the final elections. Candidate information will be published as elections occur.