We all know of the strange presidential candidate 6 Slices who appears to be some kind of mushroom alien, but today we find out that there is much more to this potato chip man gone wrong than we originally thought! Frig Pops, while "investigating" some suspicious rumors involving some coconuts and a large butter knife, happened to stumble upon an illegal mound of yolks right in the middle of the street. Frig Pops, wanting to do the right thing, immediately took out his yolk-scraper and began to clean the mess. Upon doing so, 6 Slices fell right out of the sky and began to do a strange dance right in front of Frig Pops! But that's not even the end of it, after the strange dance was over, 6 Slices took out a large wooden fork and began to scoop yolk right out of Frig Pop's mouth!
As you can see, 6 Slices is a disgrace to this world! In addition to this unbelievable act of embezzlement, lead tech advisor Paul managed to hack into 6 Slice's computer and uncover these disturbing emails!
It is clear that we cannot have this abomination as the president of our (kind of) great country!We must destroy 6 Slices and his family of 3 loaves of bread for good! Bring your toasters and other assorted bread torture devices and display your toasters! Also don't forget to read
6 Slices' candidate profile. And well you're there, you can read about the other candidates right on the same page so you can decide who you're going t vote for instead of 6 Slices!
In other news, Carver Kerver has chosen Gordon Gordon as his official vice president. Gordon Gordon has been conducting some secret "tests" on Carver Kerver. We are learning a lot more about the mysterious deer man. Hen was apparently the offspring of a secret government project that involved cross breeding between different species. Gordon Gordon has also apparently created a device that allows Carver Kerver to communicate through regular human speech. However, he can't figure out how to get the device to stop translating into Russian, so we still have no idea what he's saying.
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