Tragic Accident at the Coal Mine

It was a nice Quatobuary day, until a sudden breath of nitrous oxide trickled into a support beam at the gbmoctsgbawm(Great Big Mine of Coal that Supplies Ghumada's Big Ass War Machine). The beam instantly exploded into a million pork grinds. Such a large explosion immediately collapsed a large section of the mine. We don't know at this time if there are any survivors. Schrum Clocks has really done it this time.

Schrum Clocks, a ghordongan secret agent, was seen leaving the mine. He is suspected of releasing the nitrous oxide which caused the explosion. Authorities are also investigating if Schrum Clocks is responsible for the lack of workers returning from the mine in recent weeks. We found this workers log that shows several workers haven't returned after entering the mine in the early morning hours.

Worker's Log

9-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

1-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

2-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

3-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

4-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

5-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

6-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

9-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

1-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

2-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

3-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

4-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

5-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

6-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

9-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

Based on these startling documents we now know that many workers have not returned after entering the mine in the morning around 9:01. President Jaquan has called an emergency meeting with Pope Guadalupe and and their war supervisor Frig Pops to discuss any alternate energy sources until the mine can be reopened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Breaking News~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This just in, the authorities have heard a message from the bottom of the mine. It's believed that the only coal miner of Ghumada is trapped at the bottom of the bottomless pit somwhere in the mine. The message tapped in morse code reads "Bliggle used boys when acoustic seasoned the saucy salsa.". Authorities have Ghumada's top literacy mind O'Glasco P'Dasco translating the message as we speak.

Jo Lopez is surviving by eating raw coal, which there happens to be an abundance of in the coal mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This clearly worries most of the citizens of Ghumada(who aren't currently enslaved). Several concerned citizens wonder how they will defend themselves from Ghordongo's onslaught as the remaining coal runs out.