Startling Statistics Involving Computer Genetics

According to recent studies conducted by Ghumadian statistical expert Professor Klarke Jingles, the average lifespan of Ghumadian citizens is approximately 32 years. This study was based off of a 15 minute study consisting of one participant.

Lead scientist Gordon Gordon has agreed to share a copy of the report with us:

It is clear from these frightening records that Big Burt is a very average Ghumadan citizen. According to his health records, which were provided by an anonymous nurse working at the Ghumada National Hospital, Big Burt was extremely obese, at a weight of 455 pounds, and diagnosed with type 4.5 diabetes.  He has been staying in the hospital for about 4 years due to his “illness” (actually, he just liked the free food because Ghumada law states that all hospital care is free no matter how long the stay)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BREAKING NEWS:

Gordhongian President Dr. Martinez has been spotted placing strategic steamy asparagus all over downtown Ghumada! Found at Jimmy Billy’s Big Bass Nail Clipping Salon, eyewitness ‘Large Burt’ is quoted as saying “Good Guatemalan Guacamole Guatemalan Guatemala..” We don’t really think that what Large Burt said is relevant in any way, but what is important is that Large Burt is alive, but Big Burt is dead. Also, Dr. Martinez, who isn’t actually a doctor, has reportedly fled to a nearby sip club to sample some exotic juices and bodily fluids. Dr. Martinez is believed to be planning an all out attack on Ghumada, but he lacks all resources and funds to take action any time soon.

Dr. Martinez caught placing suspicous asparagus throughout dowtown Ghumada.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We had a feeling that there was more to this story, so we decided to question Big Bob, Big Burt’s cousin and brother.

Luckily, despite being a mere 898 years old, Big Bob was able to bring some clarity to the situation:

“HURHGAGHAGHGAGHGAGJK HUNJF”

But we still felt there was some missing information regarding the death of 32 year old Big Burt, and it appeared as if Big Bob was still a little surprised to hear of his family member’s death, so we left him alone to collect his thoughts for about 3 minutes. Then we strapped him to a small bush so he could not possibly escape. However, after an insignificant struggle, Big Bob fled into the river and was not seen again.

Lead Ghumadian health advisor. . . well, it appears there is no health advisor. . .

Lead Ghumadian Statistical expert estimates that approximately 100% of the population in Ghumada is overly obese, according to his poll conducted the same night the lifespan survey was conducted. This statistic is likely due to the unhealthy diet consisting of pork grinds. It is believed that if other foods, such as Bark Beans, were made legal, then the obesity problem would be solved. However, President Jaquan’s wife, Patricia Marmon, stands strong in her belief to support the pork grind farmers by banning all other foods.

Authentic can of Pork Grinds.

The health crisis in Ghumada is a serious issue that needs to be addressed. However, it probably won’t because Pope Guadalupe is too busy gluing together his newly revised manuscript, entitled, “Ancient Guadalupe: Ghuddism Anecdotes”.

Ghumada's Hidden Treasure

Recently, several concerned citizens have been inquiring about a (theoretical) secret organization of Ghumada Elites known as the Slimy Barbarians. Citizens have been concerned that this organization has been conducting illegal schemes involving the coal mines.

At the last Ghumada council meeting, which took place on Pope Guadalupe’s porch because there are no council meetings, a concerned citizen only known as “Big Bob” listed his concerns in this unorganized spreadsheet.

Slimy Barbarians

By Bob

1. The pork grinds are getting more expensive.
2. The oil coming from the coal mines is interfering with my daily job exercises.
3. Pope Guadalupe is covering up the secret cantaloupe blaster designed by Gordon Gordon.

According to a poll consisting of Pope Guadalupe, Big Bob is what you might call a “Mop Molester”. But you might not call him that, and that’s alright too. Either way, he’s pretty dumb. However, he did make some rather startling claims involving Gordon Gordon, who just recently awoke from his 12 month coma, which he claims was “all Orkle Albana’s fault for not taking the roasting antelope out of the microwave”. Here is what Gordon Gordon has to say when questioned about the rumoured “Cantaloupe Blaster”

“Well, I’m not making any promises here but I might have been working on a special little project involving spring loaded Carp-Gilled Bass. Ok fine, I admit it, I created an automatic beef-blower.”

Lead Scientist Gordon Gordon standing in front of the
smoldering ruins of his (former) Science Lab.

Gordon Gordon’s claims seemed rather innocent, so we decided to investigate the new BASSLOG (Big-Ass Super Science Lab of Ghumada). Orkle Albana, who was recently destroyed in the deadly accident at the previous science lab of Gordon Gordon (The ECEGSLOGTGGUTCSE), seemed to be rather busy putting together a progress report for the effects of the Pork Grind shortage. However, Pope Guadalupe threatened to decapitate his entire family if he didn’t talk to us, so that got his attention (even though Orkle Albana was a clone created by Gordon Gordon that has no family). However, at that time, it was his lunch break so he left the lab.

Now, Gordon Gordon is believed to be working on a way to rescue Coal Miner Jo Lopez from the bottom of the endless pit coal mine. Actually, we know for a fact that he is because he told us. But this raises one important question: Why has this accident occured? It probably wasn’t because Jo Lopez fell off of the 2 foot wide circular beam made out of ice that connects one end of the mine to the other. This has many citizens, such as Big Bob, convinced that the secret organization known as the Slimy Barbarians is behind the disaster. But that’s all I can say now because . . . (Loud helicopter/pigeon noises in the background) Oh no! They’ve found me!

(disturbing tentacle noises in the background) No! Please! Stop it!

(You will be banished to the Land of Misery for your crimes!) No! I don’t want to see Uncle Mole!

(Mort Biaster whacked loudly) (Dragging noises)

This is Frig Pops Jr, head of Ghumada National Securtity, and let this be an example to you that illegal news articles on sketchy websites will not be tolerated in Ghumada. Alsom disregard what you may have heard about Mole Ester. He is probably not in the Land of Misery building drainage pipes for the rest of eternity.

(Wait, we’re getting word that he didn’t actually commit any crimes) (Ha! I told you!) (Shut up you filthy rat-neck licker!)

What? you mean we came in here for no reason?

(Yeah, pretty much)

Good Hell! We’ve been deceived!

(Loud slurping noises, sort of like a rhinoceros stepping on a porcupine)

Oh! What a relief, they’ve releases me! This just shows how corrupted the Ghumada security system is, they tried to decapitate me! Well, I should probably go investigate the new rubber-tack they installed on the sidewalk, there has to be some juicy controversy there, right? This is Mort Biaston, signing off. And remember, there’s only three and a half skin-folds in a four-skin mount.

Tragic Accident at the Coal Mine

It was a nice Quatobuary day, until a sudden breath of nitrous oxide trickled into a support beam at the gbmoctsgbawm(Great Big Mine of Coal that Supplies Ghumada's Big Ass War Machine). The beam instantly exploded into a million pork grinds. Such a large explosion immediately collapsed a large section of the mine. We don't know at this time if there are any survivors. Schrum Clocks has really done it this time.

Schrum Clocks, a ghordongan secret agent, was seen leaving the mine. He is suspected of releasing the nitrous oxide which caused the explosion. Authorities are also investigating if Schrum Clocks is responsible for the lack of workers returning from the mine in recent weeks. We found this workers log that shows several workers haven't returned after entering the mine in the early morning hours.

Worker's Log

9-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

1-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

2-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

3-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

4-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

5-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

6-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

9-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

1-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

2-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

3-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

4-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

5-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

6-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

9-11: Jo Lopez In: 9:01 Out:

Based on these startling documents we now know that many workers have not returned after entering the mine in the morning around 9:01. President Jaquan has called an emergency meeting with Pope Guadalupe and and their war supervisor Frig Pops to discuss any alternate energy sources until the mine can be reopened.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Breaking News~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This just in, the authorities have heard a message from the bottom of the mine. It's believed that the only coal miner of Ghumada is trapped at the bottom of the bottomless pit somwhere in the mine. The message tapped in morse code reads "Bliggle used boys when acoustic seasoned the saucy salsa.". Authorities have Ghumada's top literacy mind O'Glasco P'Dasco translating the message as we speak.

Jo Lopez is surviving by eating raw coal, which there happens to be an abundance of in the coal mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This clearly worries most of the citizens of Ghumada(who aren't currently enslaved). Several concerned citizens wonder how they will defend themselves from Ghordongo's onslaught as the remaining coal runs out.

Gordhongo Makes Hideous Threats

President Dr. Martinez of Gordhongo has contacted Pope Guadalupe via fax that they will be launching an all out assault on Ghumada sometime between 6 and 6:03 pm. Ghumada war supervisor Frig Pops has advised Pope Guadalupe to take refuge in the War Cellar under the Ghumada headquarters. However, nobody has been down in the War Cellar since the small fire in the kitchen at 2:00 this morning, so Pope Guadalupe chose to stay in his office in the sLong House.

Ever since Dr. Martinez's execution attempt last Sunday, he has been sending demonic thugs across the border of Ghumada to cause terror. The Ghumada army consisting of three and a half poorly trained Gladiators has been able to fight off the thugs for now, but Extreme Captain War General Mike has been reported saying that he has a serious lack of materials and Gladiators to continue in the war against Gordhongo.

-------------THE FOLLOWING IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT 

PRESENTED BY BIG KNOCKER GLUESTICKS™ INC.----------------

Do you find yourself constantly stuck in "sticky" situations? 

Always stuck in traffic on the way home from work, or whatever the hell it is that you do? 

Well, it's time to stop "porking" around, and get your life back on track! Buy our Shitty Slippers™© (G Patent Pending) today, made out of 100% non-recycled and environmentally harmful cardboard! Our slippers will make you wish that you had started investing in rotten body parts a long time ago!

 Order in the next 4 seconds to receive this "authentic" crumpled up ball of aluminum foil, which may contain small traces of arsenic and sketchy candle wax! Too bad, that offer just expired! Order now!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lead Scientist Gordon Gordon was rumored to be working on a new invention called the "Meat Gladiator" that would replace the regular Gladiators, but his recent accident has left him in a coma, unable to complete the revolutionary device that could be used to wipe out Gordhongo completely.

Ghumada spies in Gordhongo has reported that the Ghordongian army has been hoarding a numerous amount of shrimp and rough wooden planks, which is a clear indication that they are planning a large and deadly assault.

Gordhongian warrior fully equipped for battle.

President Jaquan was recently spotted in a shady roadside cafe communicating via shortwave radio to an unknown recipient. It is believed that he may have been plotting with Gordhongian leader President Martinez. He is quoted as saying, "Hairy wastebands control marvelous introductions; good hell!". This has caused an uproar in the small community of Ghumada citizens that actually know how to read. They are saying things such as, "As a proud supporter of scale-free cow tentacles, it is my personal belief that President Jaquan is actually leading a secret voodoo cult."

For now, all we can do is wait for our unlikely doom to arrive. It is doubtful that Frig Pops will eat dinner tonight because all he can think about is how he left his hair clipping on a small table in an abandoned shack outside of town, which is proof of the growing need to legalize widespread use of garden hoses in Ghumada.

The Tale of Two Flaskers Alike

In a small rural village that was actually a city, there lived two young hunters in a cabin on the edge of the lake. One of the hunters, who called himself Malk Prime Senior, asked the other hunter if he could go outside. The other hunter, who was known as York around these parts, replied to Malk,"You can do whatever you want, you don't even live here."

So, Malk Prime decided he would stay inside. York was getting slightly agitated because Malk wouldn't leave his house, which was in fact a one room bathroom constructed out of rotting drift wood, an outhouse essentially.

"Malk, get out of my damn house before I destroy you!"

Malk Prime soon engaged into his battle mode. He took off his peasant rags and replaced them with his battle rags. Then he found a stick on the ground that he thought would be sufficient to duel York with. But upon further inspection, he realized that it was actually a partially decayed human leg so he decided that it would not meet sufficient battle standards.

Thus began Malk Prime's stupendous search for the perfect stick. He travled to the far off land of downtown, which was actually a ten minute bus ride away. However, during the time period this story takes place in, there were no busses yet. Because of this, Malk decided to fly his helicopter there instead.

In the city there is a great market known as MallMart. Malk Prime entered this great building through several doors composed of some kind of clear wood. Upon approaching these gates, an unseen entity suddenly caused them to screech open by themselves. Malk prime, startled, began to attack these obscenities with his plaster-casted sword. However, upon one swing, Malk's trusted sword shattered into many pieces.

Malk realized what he was dealing with. This unseen force was far stronger than anything he had ever encountered. He broke down, falling to his knees in awe. As he was praying to whatever spectacular force that was controlling these magical gates of hope, he noticed several citzens walk past him toward the gates.
"No!" Shouted Malk, as he blocked the citizens from entering the legendary kingdom known as MallMart, "this place is a sacred place. None shall enter so long as I am here to protect it."

But the citizens ignored his plea. They walked right in though the holy gates, never to be seen again.

Malk fell to his knees, realizing he had failed his task. He ran away in anger and fear until he found himself wandering through a meat store. Malk noted a suspicious odor of rotting flesh wafting out of the back room. The sketchy meat salesman asked him if he wanted any meat. Malk realized this must be some kind of test, so he did what any logical businessman would do and he performed the secret dance. The meat salesman stared in awe at the great spectacle, but he was not very impressed. "We have special on fresh octopus meat today, would you like a sample?" Malk recognized this as the secret code, so he left.

For several years, Malk Prime wandered around the desert with no apparent purpose. He had completely forgotten who he was and what it was he was trying to accomplish. Finally, York discovered Malk rolling around in a dried up lake. So, he watched for a little while then left.

According to vague myths and legends vocally passed down for millions of years, Malk Prime somehow made it to a small secluded island, where he spent 63 years eating coconut husks and ground up sand. In the 64th year, it is said that he was consumed by a large shark-looking fish. That is all we know of the life of the strange man called Malk Prime.

Lead Science Department Destroyed in Freak Accident

            Late last week, lead scientist Gordon Gordon, while experimenting with unravelling the mysteries of Automatic Cantaloupes, was involved in a serious accident involving extremely dangerous flip-switches. We do not have many details at this time, and we do not plan to receive any more. The only thing that remains of the smoldering site of the accident was a single piece of paper, buried among the ruins of what was once the ECEGSLOGTGGUTCSE, The Experimental-Complex-Expensive-Great-Science-Lab of Ghumada That Gordon Gordon Uses to Conduct Science Experiments. Gordon Gordon is now believed to be in intensive care under Dr. Hiffle Jhee in the National Hospital of Ghumada (which received 2.29.3 stars out of 5 in its last inspection).

The paper uncovered from the ruins was believed to be written by Orkle Albana, Gordon Gordon’s un-trusted lab assistant of 23 years. He describes in startling detail the unlawful experiments being conducted in the lab. But of course, Ghumada doesn’t have any laws so the experiments were not actually unlawful. The last entry was dated August 46, 200014*.

August 46, 200014

Good hell it’s getting steamy in here I believe it’s time for the experiment’s results to process. GG has been working on this one for so long and I think he will be excited that it is time. (Loud crash) oh no I think one of them has escaped (scuffling noises) oh hell the damn thing is loose ahhhhhh. Just kidding I was just practicing my screenplay novel that didn’t actually happen hahahahahaha. But the Varmins are getting pretty restless so I’ll go give them their daily allowances of seven slices.

We still have yet to fully analyze this literature, as our lead analyzer, O’glascoe P’dascoe, is currently conducting a voodoo ceremony for the National Ghumada Elementary for Juveniles. So for now, we can only assume that Gordon Gordon has gone too far into the secrets of Pork-Grinds. 

Picture of the remains of Gordon Gordon's Lab

President Jaquan Assassinated!

With all the consequences of war going on between Ghumada and Ghordongo right now, President Jaquan III has been murdered!

It was late in the afternoon at 11:59 AM; Jaquan was lounging in his office with a desk protector on the floor. He suddenly realized that there was a dark predator watching him from his window. This was odd, because Jaquan's office is on the 83rd floor of an 80 story building, so there shouldn't be any devious predators lurking around causing mischief.

Jaquan leapt to his feet, as he realized that his secretary, Ma-Hi-Hi 1254.55 was standing outside his door. However, the person standing outside his door wasn't his secretary, it was Fork Bord-Lord-Gord, a secret spy from Ghordongo. Fork was clearly in pain, which was evident by the knife sticking out from his 3rd arm. It wasn't long before Fork Bord-Gord-Lord was dead.

Jaquan then decided that it would be a good idea to take a nap on his orange chair that he had just built while Fork Lord-Bord-Gord was uttering his last words and bleeding on Jaquan's carpet.

After a long nap, Jaquan suddenly died. Ghumada's Chief Police Officer Topiary Dairy is currently investigating the strange murder, but there isn't a lot of evidence to go by. The only witness to the strange sequence of events was President Jaquan, but he's not saying much.

Interesting Happening of Gandhi's Step-Son!

It looks as if Gandhi has a new son! We don't know the father, but it' me! I am the father! I have an affair with Gandhi! Gandhi! Gandhi! Gandhi! Gandhi!

I don't really know who this is. . . 

It appears as if Gordon Gordon has been transferred to the hospital.

Just kidding! I am not in a hospital! I was just kidding! Just kidding! Gandhi!Gandhi! Gandhi! Gandhi!

By this way! Gandhi doesn't have any children! The title of this article has nothing to do with anything ever! Gandhi!

New! Gordon Gordon Invents Automatic Gladiator!

Hello! It is I, Gordon Gordon! i have invented! something new! I call it the Automatic Gladiator! or just Automatic Gladiator for short! What is does is it lets you just use it! Then you can have a personal warrior! This will be like a new Meat-bot! They can be Ghumada's Army warriors!

Ghordongo Strikes Back!

Dr. Martinez is at it again! Ghordongo is assembling their Wardongo Clongs, for an invasion of Gandhistan. They must've gotten wind of the affair between Gandhi and Gordon Gordon. We've also managed to intercept a top secret coded message sent to Dr. Martinez-- after our top scientists cracked the code, it read: "With potato human cling seperate dog table Barack Obama". Clearly this means someone did something that caused something important. With this new information we will easily be able to defeat the Wardongo Clong fleet, however we will have to increase coal production as we are mobilizing the meat-bots.

Agent Wizaro has managed to take a picture of a Wardongo Clong preparing to join the Ghordongo navy:

 Note: Operation Floodgates is proceeding as planned

Frivolous Plague Hits Ghumada

Today the beginning of a new era has begun. A great plague has stricken the country. One will notice the many hoards of inhabitants that have gone missing from society. This is due to the horrible effects of the Klop-Froth G plague, developed by our very own scientist. Gordon Gordon.

Close up of the Klop-Froth G bacteria

It all started one night when Gordon Gordon was on his way back home from his laboratory. It was then that he realized that he forgot his car, so he immediately turned around and walked back to the parking lot.

When he got back to his laboratory, it was already 6:00. So, realizing it would be dark in about 4 hours, he did the most logical thing by staying the night in his laboratory.

In the lab, Gordon Gordon couldn't help but play around with a few specimens from his collection. he started playing with the black plague, and realized it would be pretty cool if he combined it with SmallPox™. And so, Klop-Froth G was created.


Now, over 73.000000099% of the country has been infected with the Klop-Froth G plague. Infected victims will first notice an extreme swelling of the throat and left arm. Then, their eyes will fall out like a light bulb that's not screwed in (they will shatter when they hit the ground). The final stage of Klop-Froth G includes a state of insecurity and extreme pain in several spots of the body. After this stage, it is already too late and the victim will swell up and spontaneously explode.
Gordon Gordon is "not too concerned about the outbreak, because we will probably find a cure eventually". Pope Guadalupe is being held in protective custody, because President Jaquan has already suffered the extreme effects of the plague. Guadalupe says, "I just wish I would have packed some extra cables, so I could have some extra cables". 
We are hopeful for a cure by tomorrow, when Gordon Gordon is said to wake up from his 8 week nap.

Happy Birthday President Jaquan III

It feels like just last week that I was birthing Ghumada's current president, Jaquan Jamillionson III from his mother, J'Dinkalage Morgoone. Well, it was, in fact, 732 years ago to the day that Ghumada's noble (not as noble as the Pope) leader was brought into this world.

Only known portrait of J'Dinkalage Morgoone

 This is why I, Pope Guadalupe IV, am declaring a National Day of Ignorance for the Presidents cancer. Yes, you heard right, President Jaquan has a cancerous growth in his pancreas. So, ignore the cancer that you wouldn't have known about if I didn't tell you and wish the president a nice birthday.

Also, Jaquan will be celebrating his birthday for a whole month, because that is how long it took his mother to give birth to him. Trust me, you don't want to know about that experience.

President Jaquan III

Startling news about Gordon Gordon

We've discovered some startling secrets about Gordon Gordon, our lead scientist here at the Ghumada Candhi Commiteration. It is common knowledge that Gordon Gordon was grown from a pig seed. However, what you may not know is his early life.

Gordon Gordon was a mysterious man; it is rumoured that he grew from a British pig seed, as that was where he was first spotted. The first major incident that involved Gordon Gordon was when he revealed himself as a swindler. He used imposterisim and fraudulentalizing to imposterize and fraudulize well over $30,000 from a group of London jewelers.

Gordon Gordon then moved to Minnesota, which became his permanent place of residence. He met another shady man knownly only as Gould who made some startling claims. Gould wanted to gain control of the Erie Railroad, and Gordon Gordon said he could help him get it. Gould sent him $1,000,000 in stocks, but Gordon Gordon scammed him and sold it immediately. Gould then sued Gordon Gordon, and things looked bleak.

But luckily, Gordon Gordon tricked the court by sending them false references in return for getting bail. While the court was checking the references, Gordon Gordon took this opportunity to flee to Canada. He then convinced Canadian authorities that the allegations brought against him were false. After failing to convince or force Canadian authorities to hand over Gordon Gordon, Gould and his associates, who included two future Governors of Minnesota and three future Members of Congress, attempted to kidnap him. They initially succeeded, but were stopped by the Canadian mounted police.

The kidnappers were imprisoned and were not given bail, which led to an international incident. The Governor of Minnesota activated the state militia, and thousands of Minnesotans volunteered for a full-scale military invasion of Canada. The Canadians were pressured into releasing the prisoners, and were forced to deport Gordon Gordon. Gordon Gordon barely managed to escape and find refuge in the Ghumada Candhi Commiteration, where he is now lead scientist. The government managed to convince the press that Gordon Gordon committed suicide, but this is false information as he is actually immortal.

Pope Guadalupe Meets With Dr. Martinez

On ZzzzzZDay (the day after Sunday and befire Monday) of last week Pope Guadalupe interviewed Dr. Sebastian Fredrico Juarez Lupe Pancho Pedro Tomas Ricardo LawnMower Burrito Francisco Pablo Martinez. Here is what he had to say:

"I enjoy to rub furry duck on the beef."

Based on their leader's startling claim here, it's clear that our neighboring country of Ghordongo has gone way too far this time.

We must take immediate action. As the noble Pope of the Committeration, I hereby reccommend that we declare war on Ghordongo. We have a sufficient army of meat-bots (designed by lead scientist Gordon Gordon) to send into Ghordongo. The Ghordongians will never suspect our assault, so we will have a great advantage.

In order to declare war, we need approval by the president.Also, the coal miners will need to work very hard in order to get enough coal to power the army.

Official Symbol of Ghuddism

Within Ghuddism there lies many traditional values. Included are several Sacred Symbols. The first Sacred Symbol is the Sacred Triangle.

The Great Mohammed Bin Laden first discovered this amazing geometric wonder when he was at a hysteric coordinate convention. It was there that he witnessed the most important event that year (23456 BC). He did not, however, go into great detail about what this event was specifically.

The main symbol that represents Ghuddism is the so-sacred-that-it's-almost-not-sacred Hyster-Lick.

Nobody truly knows for sure where the Hyster-Lick originated. Some say that the symbol was carved into the rock as the Earth was being formed, where it was witnessed by an old fellow who shared the symbol with his companions. Others say that it is the logo of an ancient lawn mowing company. But we're pretty sure they didn't have lawn mowers trillions of years ago, so we just go with the first story.

Welcome to Ghumada Candhi

The Ghumada Candhi Committeration is the central database of the Ghuddist religion. Ghuddism was founded approximately 20 trillion years ago (possibly more) by the great Mohammed Bin Laden.

On this factual database of Ghuddism you will find everything you need to know about our religion including all of our sacred texts, history, and much more. Anyone can become a Ghuddist by contacting Pope Guadalupe IV or by calling 2-(747) 747-7474.

Be sure to visit the page with all of our sacred texts: http://ghumada.blogspot.com/p/sacred-texts.html
                                               

 Pope Guadalupe IV